Thursday, 15 May 2008

Pick Me Up Plants?

It's interesting, isn't it, how soothing gardening can be and how some of us happen upon it at times of stress.

These past few weeks have been hard going. Oh, not because of any life shattering event but, green people look away now, because of the simple fact that being without a car has meant no freedom or independence. Just more of the same, which would be my four walls and a lot more of my own company that even I, a great one for solitude, can stand.

Thanks to numerous packets of seeds, other people's blogs, the gardening bloggers' paradise Blotanical, gardening magazines and my school club I have managed, just, to stay this side of perky.

Today, though, I hold my hands up in defeat. Enough! News that the garage has not even started work on my car, let alone come close to completing it, resulting in ruined holiday plans, has had me nearly weeping into my 30 tomato plants. Coupled with, in my quite sensitive state, a fairly bruising social encounter yesterday (why, oh why do I insist on stepping out of my comfort zone?) and not even the healing power of plants can work their magic.

As I was gently rocking on the swing seat, listening to the two youngest play, while poised ready to stop squabbles and ambitious climbing, I glanced across at my jam-packed growhouse heaving with wonderful green things and my heart sank. Yes, sank! All those plants, I thought morosely, just remind me of how miserable I feel. I look at them and just think MISERY.

Which is obviously not the effect I was after. No sireee. So that's that. I have nothing left in my armoury. I am all used up. Even counting my blessings, of which I have many, is not working any more. Wallowing in a sea of self-pity is all I feel able to do, which is rather pathetic but there it is. I could, I suppose, post something chipper, say, about this week's gardening club but no matter how hard I try I'm stuck. What you see, unfortunately, is always what you get.

Actually, I do have one more trick up my sleeve. Maybe I could visit the allotment, there's plenty to do and I haven't been for a few days. I could take my frustrations out on the weeds. And it's due to rain which would suit my mood perfectly. Anything, I feel, is worth a try.

10 comments:

  1. Oh no - cheer up! Its awful when even the garden cant help - been there. Maybe some little indulgence might help - treat yourself to something naughty - cream cake maybe

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  2. Good idea Helen, I think a treat is in order, except I can't get out to the treat selling shops. I could use the village shop, but then I'd have to take out a second mortgage! And there's no chocolate in the house....

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  3. I'm not sure about your car problem but it sounds like you need a glass of wine to me! I'm not a "drinker" but sometimes I do need an occasional glass of wine. I feel for you not having a vehicle. My husband and I share our truck and I'm here all day without transportation. It stinks.

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  4. Oh, I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time! It certainly is hard to not have a vehicle to escape in once in a while. I'm mostly a solitary type of person too, and not one to got out much as I find noise and crowds more a stress than a pleasure, but with little ones it's easy to go a bit batty being stuck at home day after day. And a ruined vacation too! It's no wonder you're feeling so down.

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  5. Ah, thank you both for your kind words. OBM - I don't know how you manage all day without some transport! I take my hat off to you!

    Amy, I now think I'm not so solitary as I first thought! I am happy with my own company though, mostly, but I think it's having no choice that is hard.

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  6. Everyone needs a good wallow every once in a while. A little rain makes us appreciate the sunny days! Wallow on, then get over it.

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  7. We need 'down times' to realise when we're having a good time....or its all very monotonous! You'll get up that hill to good times soon...! And, see how many comments you have...! Should make you smile...just for a bit. Hugs Cat xxx

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  8. Sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to wallow for a bit--have a good cry, even. Sometimes we just need to purge some feelings and this is the only way to get it done. We are all human, and unfortunately, the sun does not always shine. The clouds come in, the rain pours down. But, things won't stay this way. Just hold on until the sun comes out again...I promise, it will.

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  9. I bet a good stint down on the allotment will re-juvenate you! I lose track of time when I really get going, fresh air and exercise does the power of good!

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  10. Kathryn/plantwhateverbringsyoujoy.com18 May 2008 at 16:46

    Hi, dear--probably way past the moment when you were feeling CHOICELESS and it seems you took it all out on the slugs, anyway. :) Your humour was intact nevertheless, brewing just below the surface, but visible to readers. Thanks for your humanness showing. :)

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