It's interesting, isn't it, how soothing gardening can be and how some of us happen upon it at times of stress.
These past few weeks have been hard going. Oh, not because of any life shattering event but, green people look away now, because of the simple fact that being without a car has meant no freedom or independence. Just more of the same, which would be my four walls and a lot more of my own company that even I, a great one for solitude, can stand.
Thanks to numerous packets of seeds, other people's blogs, the gardening bloggers' paradise Blotanical, gardening magazines and my school club I have managed, just, to stay this side of perky.
Today, though, I hold my hands up in defeat. Enough! News that the garage has not even started work on my car, let alone come close to completing it, resulting in ruined holiday plans, has had me nearly weeping into my 30 tomato plants. Coupled with, in my quite sensitive state, a fairly bruising social encounter yesterday (why, oh why do I insist on stepping out of my comfort zone?) and not even the healing power of plants can work their magic.
As I was gently rocking on the swing seat, listening to the two youngest play, while poised ready to stop squabbles and ambitious climbing, I glanced across at my jam-packed growhouse heaving with wonderful green things and my heart sank. Yes, sank! All those plants, I thought morosely, just remind me of how miserable I feel. I look at them and just think MISERY.
Which is obviously not the effect I was after. No sireee. So that's that. I have nothing left in my armoury. I am all used up. Even counting my blessings, of which I have many, is not working any more. Wallowing in a sea of self-pity is all I feel able to do, which is rather pathetic but there it is. I could, I suppose, post something chipper, say, about this week's gardening club but no matter how hard I try I'm stuck. What you see, unfortunately, is always what you get.
Actually, I do have one more trick up my sleeve. Maybe I could visit the allotment, there's plenty to do and I haven't been for a few days. I could take my frustrations out on the weeds. And it's due to rain which would suit my mood perfectly. Anything, I feel, is worth a try.