See me waving my hands in the air? That's me, conceding defeat.
Yep, the carrots have won. Don't want to grow this year on the allotment? Fine. Only one brave seedling breaking the Great Carrot Seed Strike 2008 and showing up for work? Great.
That's perfectly OK with me, you deserters. I have dozens of carrot seedlings, pots of them, partying down in containers at home.
And no, I won't look at the wonderful, incredibly straight rows of carrots growing just a few yards away, sown by Lovely Plot Lady.
Instead I shall brandish my fork and confine you to a dim and distant memory, soon, fingers crossed, to be replaced with lovely rows of my own. Last night, while being eaten by midgies, I sowed a rainbow selection of carrots.
Carrot tape was my number one choice but, and it's hard not to feel there's a Carrot Conspiracy going on, it's disappeared - poof! - off the face of the earth.
When I got home I then sowed some spring onions, another plot no show, with some Parmex carrots in a beautiful wooden container. The children will probably refuse to eat these orange marbles but they're apparently great in pots and 'suitable for clay soils where growing carrots can be a problem'.
Hear that my little orange friends? You may have won the battle but I'm going to win the war!